Sometimes You Shouldn’t Go With the Flow

“The reward for being nice in oppressive circumstances is to be mistreated all the more.”
—Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves

With so much uncertainty, precarity, and a lack of collective care in our worlds, it’s important to remember that we are not powerless.

You/I/We need to hold tightly and firmly to this unshakeable, undeniable, deep-rooted truth: We are not powerless.

And while we hold that truth in one hand, in the other, we must carry this one: Our defiance is necessary.

We can’t always go with the flow.
We can’t always keep the peace.
We can’t always chase “positive vibes.”
We can’t always uphold the social contract.

Sometimes, more often than we’d like to admit, we need to stand in opposition. We need to say: I do not consent.
Especially when harm is being done.
When boundaries are being pummeled.
When our collective safety is being ignored.

Sometimes, the only way to show people who we are is by showing them who we aren’t.

Our defiance is necessary.

Both individual and collective defiance are powerful, foundation-shaking, culture-shifting tools.
You get to say no.
I get to say no.
We get to say no.

We get to discard the socialization that says it’s unsavory or unethical to question things.
We get to shift our orientation.
We get to interrogate collective values built on extraction, exploitation, violence, and joylessness.

We do not forge new ways of being, or stand in solidarity, by going with the flow.

No. We must stand in opposition to the ideas, people, systems, and institutions that rely on our consent to keep causing harm.

In both small and large ways, you/I/we must withdraw our consent from all forms of oppression and embody more pleasurable, collaborative, and joyful ways of existing. That’s the work.

So ask yourself:
What social contracts are you no longer consenting to?
Where are you no longer going with the flow?
How will your defiance show up?
What spaces within your world are ready to be stirred?

Remember these truths:
You are powerful.
And your defiance is necessary.